Sunday, April 17, 2011

This One Is For You, Honey

Sunday Morning (D)Rain (Wo)man Neil, my husband, has been pestering me to write my next blog post, so here it is! This one is for you, honey! Actually, I’ve got another blog post lined up, but it’s not coming out quite right, so that’s one for another day. Today is Sunday. I’m sitting up in bed, writing this on my laptop. What luxury! Now, if only someone would bring me breakfast in bed! Life would be perfect! Well, maybe not quite perfect, but pretty close. My family has been through some challenges over the past few years, and currently my husband and my oldest son are living in one city while my younger son, my mother and myself are living in another city, nearly 1000 kilometres away. Fortunately, this is only temporary, and we are due to be reunited at the end of this month. I think we are all counting the days! Neil and I have been married for 28 years, and this is the second time we’ve lived apart in the last 2 years. Living separately brings its own unique challenges. Long distance relationships can be stressful. Fortunately, the wonders of modern technology make things a little easier, but they can’t replace the people they connect you with. When you are apart, you look forward to every phone call, no matter how routine and mundane the conversation. Mostly our conversations follow the same pattern. - How are you? What’s the weather like there? What are you doing now? Sometimes our conversations are about practical matters, like the logistics of making another long distance move, getting the car fixed or “Have you found us a place to live yet?” (YES!!!), and “how do fix the pool or clean a blocked drain?” Sometimes those daily phone calls bring you closer together, but sometimes they serve to emphasize the physical distance keeping you apart. Being separated, you miss their physical presence, their just being there. I miss that early morning cup of tea Neil always wakes me up with. I miss that warm body in bed next to me at night. A pillow at my back just isn’t the same! And I certainly miss him for all those manly jobs around the house! (See picture!)! Long distance living also brings time and space for reflection and growth. I wonder what Neil misses about me? Probably not my irritability and depressions, nor my foul moods and my nagging, but hopefully I’ve got some good qualities that make him want to keep me around! Living apart is hard, but it is also an opportunity to stretch ourselves. I may not relish these times apart, but they have been necessary, and it hasn’t been all bad. I have had a chance to grow independently, to find within myself talents, strengths and resources I didn’t know I had. I have learned a lot about myself and grown within myself. I have also learned how much I rely on you, Neil, for your support, encouragement, and unconditional love. I don’t know what kind of curve balls life is going to throw at us in the future – hopefully some good ones, but this time apart has been preparing us for the next phase in our lives. For new beginnings, new experiences, new challenges, fresh opportunities. For new dreams and new goals in a new home, and a new life! Happy Day! © 2011 Design A Dream

Friday, April 01, 2011


This morning I was playing a game of Spider Solitaire on my computer, and it occurred to me that Life is a bit like a game.


In any game, the aim is to win. The definition of winning is determined by what game you are playing, and you have to play the hand you are dealt. Sometimes you get a good hand, sometimes not so good, but you've got to make the best of it.

The hand I was playing this morning wasn't the best, and I was feeling a little stuck, so I clicked on the "suggest a move" label. My husband says this is cheating, but I'm not so sure. If you are stuck and can't find a way forward, what's wrong with asking for a little help?

The computer was very obliging, and immediately suggested a move that I hadn't noticed, even though it was right there in front of me!

How often does that happen in life? You come up against a problem and you can't find a solution no matter how hard you try. Most of us are so resistant to sharing our hand and asking for help, but a problem shared is a problem halved, and very often someone who isn't quite as close to the problem can see solutions where we can see none.

Another thing that I noticed is that the computer allows for "do-overs". I could "undo" moves that I had made and make a different move. The game penalised me a point every time I did this, so it cost me, but it allowed me to correct my mistakes and change the course of my game.

The computer even goes so far as to allow you to completely restart the game if you chose to. Isn't that fantastic! And yes, we get to do that in the game of life too. Every day is a fresh opportunity. We can't erase the past, but we start every day with a new beginning, a chance to start over!

Playing games is meant to be fun, and so is life. If you don't like the game you are playing, why not try a different game?

There are all sorts of games out there, games to suit everyone. Ball games, board games, card games, word games, games of strategy, games of chance, games of skill, games you play alone, team games.

We get to chose what games we play, and we get to chose how we play. We can use strategy, logic and reason, we can rely on skill or luck. We can even lie or cheat, (some games even rely on it) but beware the consequences of being caught! Some games we win, and some games we lose.We can be poor winners or poor losers, good winners, or good losers.

At the end of the day though, it doesn't matter so much whether you win or lose, it how you play the game, and if you've had fun along the way!

With my Spider Solitaire, I lost more than I won, (I'm sure the game's rigged), but I had fun playing it, I learnt some stuff along the way, and yes, I'll be back on there tomorrow trying to beat the odds!
Happy Day!