On Day 11, I hit a stumbling block. Not so much with the Law of Meditation, but with myself. I have been struggling for the past few weeks as to how I should share this, and how much of it I should share of it with you.
It has taken me several weeks consideration, but below is my personal, private journal entry in it's entirety. It may not mean much to you, but it is very personal to me, so I hope you will respect the honesty, even if the post does not reflect the Law of Meditation in action. I don't know, maybe it does?
Journal Entry (21/6/2011)
"This is a tough one! I am still struggling with it.
It brings up a lot of questions. I'm thinking maybe I should just "let go", but it's easier said than done. I am very resistant to this process. And yet, I want to perfect the process, so I will persevere. Practice makes perfect, and I know it will become easier with practice.
At the moment, I have a lot of questions. I feel very negative. I want to persue my goal of being SA's No 1 Life Coach, and I am working towards it.
Am I just kidding myself? Should I just quit? I'm "doing" all these things, but am I actually being productive? What am I doing? What help do I need? What is the most productive thing I can do? What do I need to do? In what order? WWWWWH?
Is this part of the meditation process? Passive/Active - Access = How do I access that part of myself? Do I need to give up / give in? I am always "trying" instead of just "being", but how can I achieve anything if I am not taking action? What actions should I be taking?
Over the past few months/years I have been "trying" a lot of different strategies, but I don't seem to be getting anywhere.
We have fallen so far back, I am very afraid that we will never recover. I keep trying different things, but nothing seems to work out. What should I be doing? What do I need to be doing?
Am I doing the right thing? Is my energy too negative. What do I need to do to change it?"
This concludes my journal entry. I hope you will pause and reflect on it before going on to my next post. I have a lot of thoughts to share on The Law of Meditation and what I have learned so far, before going on to Day 12 (The Law of Poise).
© 2011 Design A Dream
